Atlanta rapper Offset recently made scathing comments on social media regarding his former partner Cardi B. His derogatory use of the phrase ‘baby mama’ incited a public debate about the male perspective regarding women and motherhood.

Exploring the complex nature of motherhood, this article addresses its empowering and demeaning aspects and presents preventive measures against such stigmas.  

Offset and Cardi B have been known for their rocky relationship since they started dating in early 2017. The hip-hop power couple has been in the tabloids countless times for their tumultuous marriage, the birth of their children, and public infidelity. There have been claims of cheating from both sides, yet most claims lie on Offset himself. 

In their most recent split, Cardi filed for divorce for the second time, where she shared that the action had nothing to do with resurfaced cheating rumors but ultimately was a long way coming. 

Amidst the feud, the “Bodak Yellow” rapper let it be known she is unbothered by her ex-husband’s adulterous activities through Instagram, where Offset responded, “Everybody can see I don’t want you!” in the comments. He followed up with, “[You] will be calling me after [a] couple months; u my bm, I won.”

Fans and haters alike began to call out the misogyny and general audacity of Offset’s words. By referring to Cardi B as a baby mama, he intentionally tried to demote her status as a mother and wife to no one special. 

“They benefit from stereotypes working against us, like the angry black woman or even the crazy Latina, where it’s expected for her to look crazy on social media,” said Jordyn Maddox, a Howard University student. “This time, she kept her peace, so he retaliated because he doesn't have another way to discredit her.”

History has shown that there are many things one can say to dehumanize a Black woman. You can attack her character, intelligence, or desirability, but the simplest way to do all three is by demoting her to baby mama status.

Many stereotypes in modern media provide a basis to humiliate and exploit Black women. Today, another term has gained footing: the baby mama. Also known as the single mother who wasn’t good enough to be a wife but allowed a man to get her pregnant. This term, like all controlling images, blames women for not being smart enough to avoid bad men. While also turning a nose up at her lack of self-respect to have sex with a man who was not fully committed to her.

It allows no room to criticize the man who abandoned her as a mother or proper empathy to understand that not every couple is meant to stay together. The heterosexual male norm is to have sex with as many women as he likes until he decides which one is worthy enough to keep as a wife. Women are given no power in this structure and are always viewed to be less than when they are not chosen.

The baby mama archetype takes after other negative stereotypes, each contributing to the idea that certain women, mostly women of color, are crazy and not worthy of marriage (yet, they are always worthy of sleeping with). The patriarchal voices in our society tell young men that there is nothing wrong with being intimate with a woman they have no plans of committing to; thus, the cycle of the baby mama continues. 

Young black women have their thoughts on the cycle as well. Alannah Taylor, a sophomore at Howard University, believes, "Women are men’s status symbols; if they have a girl who is put together and popping, they can use her accomplishments to uplift themselves.”

She continues to say, “If their career is failing, they still have [a baby] to fall back on that proves their competence as a provider or a father.”

Gender roles say a man is a man when he provides for his family. A wife and children to provide for are necessary in this thinking framework. It could be argued that a lot of men have families to prove their manhood to others, even if they don’t want the commitment themselves.

For some, women are seen as something to claim ownership over instead of living individuals. When children are taught these traditional values, it is clear that women are secondary to men—never actualized as real people, but simply an addition to a man’s life and a vessel for his children. In this role, a woman has no self-purpose or ways to gain social value on her own.

“They have the mindset of ‘I breed you’, as if Black women are dogs, and that’s so wrong,” said Aaliyah Mills, another student at Howard. “Some of these men really want to trap you.”

Cardi B is an affluent celebrity in the rap community. Her name holds weight in many rooms, and her beauty is not unknown. By having children with someone of her star power, Offset has established himself as a man capable of obtaining an impressive woman. Being the father of her children is equal to marking his territory and claiming ownership over her body because, as he believes, no man is interested in another man’s baby mama.

When we as a society equate womanhood with motherhood, we are complacent to the restrictions set on women. Not every girl wants to have children, and not every mother wants to be married. Yet, there is a pressure to participate in traditional romance when the threat of being ostracized as an old maid hangs over every woman’s head.

Even if they are not privvy to the nature of these pressures, men will often weaponize these threats to make themselves be seen as above a certain kind of woman. However, this strategy cannot be successful if the public doesn’t agree. It is our job as the new generation to reject values that do not uplift women of color. Whether that be defending marginalized women in the media or speaking up against everyday misogyny, we have the power to create a world where women and men are truly equal.